Dom knows, Dom/hand, R.
Sep. 26th, 2005 01:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lizhanneTitle: Dom knows.
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-syndicated.gif)
anne_elliot
Pairing: Dom/hand
Author's notes: 563 words. Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
aralinde's birthday, and originally posted in my journal as "Angstywoekittens!Dom/hand", since I couldn't find a proper title back then. Beta-ed by [Bad username or unknown identity: My Sam] and tarteaucitron.
Dom knows that he can’t have him, so he feels no guilt when his hands slides down, under the covers, and he thinks of Billy. In his fantasy, nothing is complicated; Billy is willing and eager, and just for that moment, everything slips into place. He doesn’t care about creating a plausible scenario – it wouldn’t be a fantasy, then, would it? – he just pictures Billy pinning him down on the bed, and Billy’s hand on himself. When Dom closes his right hand on his erection, it’s Billy’s hand that touches it. When he starts moving, slowly, more pressure at the base and a quick twist at the top, he’ll open his eyes and see Billy looking down at him. Sometimes Dom loses his concentration, fixing his mind on a banal little detail, such as what is the more realistic position to imagine, and sometimes sleep just takes him like this, still half hard and dreaming that Billy’s body is next to his.
Dom would never ask him to try, or even to consider it. It would complicate things too much, and Billy is happy as he is now. Dom can see that, and it’s right this way. He tells himself that he doesn’t feel guilty, but sometimes, sitting with them at a restaurant, looking at her smiling at him, Dom, with affection, the guilt comes. Those are the nights when he goes home and gets himself off quickly, trying to concentrate on the act itself, not anyone in particular. It’s just Dom, his hand, and the darkness in his room.
Sometimes he prepares himself for bed slowly, with care, and puts on music that reminds him of Billy. It’s his strange, maybe – he thinks – slightly perverted ritual. Fantasies take over, as elaborate as a movie script, and involving a great deal of suspension of disbelief. But Dom likes to lose himself in them, not touching himself until Billy is touching him, trying not to come until Billy tells him to, or until his lips finally slide down Dom’s cock, beautifully obscene in his mind.
He doesn’t go in much for tenderness in those fantasies; tenderness and kisses and words are what lull him to sleep, but Dom can’t get off thinking about that. This is about want, and lust. In those moments, Billy is aroused and passionate, and wants him. Oh, this Billy wants him so much. He wants to take every inch of Dom into his mouth, sucking and licking and caressing his thighs, digging his nails into Dom’s hips. Billy wants to be inside him, and the feeling is so beautiful that Dom can almost forget it’s not real flesh pushing into him, and that his arm starts to ache after a while.
Guilt comes after nights like this, when Dom opens his eyes to a dark, stuffy room, his hands and belly sticky with his own come, and the consciousness that not only is Billy not there with him, but it’s probably not right to use his mental image like the pictures in adult magazines. Pleasure dissolves in guilt and a touch of disgust, as he cleans himself up and turns on his side to sleep. But he knows the image that will lull and kiss him to sleep, and that small, cupidsbow smile soothes everything, when Dom closes his eyes. It’s not like he can help it, after all.
Author:
anne_elliotPairing: Dom/hand
Author's notes: 563 words. Written for
aralinde's birthday, and originally posted in my journal as "Angstywoekittens!Dom/hand", since I couldn't find a proper title back then. Beta-ed by [Bad username or unknown identity: My Sam] and tarteaucitron.Dom knows that he can’t have him, so he feels no guilt when his hands slides down, under the covers, and he thinks of Billy. In his fantasy, nothing is complicated; Billy is willing and eager, and just for that moment, everything slips into place. He doesn’t care about creating a plausible scenario – it wouldn’t be a fantasy, then, would it? – he just pictures Billy pinning him down on the bed, and Billy’s hand on himself. When Dom closes his right hand on his erection, it’s Billy’s hand that touches it. When he starts moving, slowly, more pressure at the base and a quick twist at the top, he’ll open his eyes and see Billy looking down at him. Sometimes Dom loses his concentration, fixing his mind on a banal little detail, such as what is the more realistic position to imagine, and sometimes sleep just takes him like this, still half hard and dreaming that Billy’s body is next to his.
Dom would never ask him to try, or even to consider it. It would complicate things too much, and Billy is happy as he is now. Dom can see that, and it’s right this way. He tells himself that he doesn’t feel guilty, but sometimes, sitting with them at a restaurant, looking at her smiling at him, Dom, with affection, the guilt comes. Those are the nights when he goes home and gets himself off quickly, trying to concentrate on the act itself, not anyone in particular. It’s just Dom, his hand, and the darkness in his room.
Sometimes he prepares himself for bed slowly, with care, and puts on music that reminds him of Billy. It’s his strange, maybe – he thinks – slightly perverted ritual. Fantasies take over, as elaborate as a movie script, and involving a great deal of suspension of disbelief. But Dom likes to lose himself in them, not touching himself until Billy is touching him, trying not to come until Billy tells him to, or until his lips finally slide down Dom’s cock, beautifully obscene in his mind.
He doesn’t go in much for tenderness in those fantasies; tenderness and kisses and words are what lull him to sleep, but Dom can’t get off thinking about that. This is about want, and lust. In those moments, Billy is aroused and passionate, and wants him. Oh, this Billy wants him so much. He wants to take every inch of Dom into his mouth, sucking and licking and caressing his thighs, digging his nails into Dom’s hips. Billy wants to be inside him, and the feeling is so beautiful that Dom can almost forget it’s not real flesh pushing into him, and that his arm starts to ache after a while.
Guilt comes after nights like this, when Dom opens his eyes to a dark, stuffy room, his hands and belly sticky with his own come, and the consciousness that not only is Billy not there with him, but it’s probably not right to use his mental image like the pictures in adult magazines. Pleasure dissolves in guilt and a touch of disgust, as he cleans himself up and turns on his side to sleep. But he knows the image that will lull and kiss him to sleep, and that small, cupidsbow smile soothes everything, when Dom closes his eyes. It’s not like he can help it, after all.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-26 12:33 am (UTC)(I love it!)
Thank you for posting it here, and sharing it.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-26 12:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-26 12:44 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-26 12:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-26 02:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-26 12:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-26 02:55 am (UTC)Fantasies take over, as elaborate as a movie script, and involving a great deal of suspension of disbelief. But Dom likes to lose himself in them...
It’s not like he can help it, after all.
*twists knife in gut* Ouch. That was just... yeah.
Anyway, thanks for writing this!!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-26 12:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-26 08:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-26 12:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-26 09:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-26 12:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-26 11:58 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-09-26 12:22 pm (UTC)Dom needs to be squished, yes! *nods*