Suspension of Disbelief, part five
Apr. 21st, 2007 02:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lizhanneTitle: Suspension of Disbelief, part five
Rating: PG13 for this part
Pairing: Frank/Gerard, Frank/Ray
Author's notes: once upon a time, I saw the first priest!Gerard pictures, and helped by conversations about Stigmata-esque AUs with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
restriction, I started with an idea and ended up writing something completely different. This means you will find no demonic possession here, only a psychic, fucked-up Frank and a tired, disillusioned priest!Gerard. Sorry for the long wait, in case anyone was waiting for this. RL was a bitch for a while.
Thanks torestriction for the wonderful beta job on this part.
No altar boys were (or will ever be) harmed in the writing of this story.
Disclaimer: this is an AU; you can't get much faker than that, right?
Links to previous parts are under the cut.
- Part one
- Part two
- Part three
- Part four
Opening the door, Gerard steps into the room before Frank, blindly reaching for the light switch.
“The place is a mess, I’m afraid,” he says with some embarrassment in his voice, even if he wonders why he bothers, since he’s pretty sure that Frank wouldn’t mind the mess in the state he’s in. He is still to say anything more than “yes” or “thank you”, and he’s still clinging to the butt of his cigarette even after what Gerard has said.
“You shouldn’t be smoking here, you know, but,” and Gerard shrugs, giving up with a vaguely apologetic gesture, one thing about himself he really hates, because it always makes him feel silly. “It’s not like a lot of people come here, anyway. There should be a lady cleaning every day, but the old one died and they still haven’t found anyone old and ugly enough to replace her, I guess.”
He smiles at this, but Frank doesn’t seem to be amused and frowns instead.
“Old miss Jane died?”
“Wh-” – the name doesn’t tell him anything, but then he’s hit by a sudden inspiration – “Oh, the old woman? Did you know her?”
“I used to, a long time ago.”
Gerard shoots him another puzzled look, probably the hundredth one tonight, genuinely perplexed by Frank’s tendency to throw around disconcerting remarks without blinking or even a hint of an expression in his voice. He’s getting more curious to unravel him by the minute, but even that thought is hidden beneath the multiple layers of Gerard’s own exhaustion, so he just shows Frank the sofa where he’s going to sleep and tells him he’s welcome to help himself to anything in the kitchen.
“I’m just going to have a quick shower and crash out, I have to be up really early tomorrow,” Gerard says while glancing at the clock. Seeing that it’s almost 3am he knows he will be a wreck tomorrow, so he turns to head for his room. He wishes he could just fall on the bed and get some sleep, but he knows he wouldn’t have the energy to shower in the morning.
“Thank you.”
Frank’s voice stops him as he’s opening the door. When Gerard turns to look at Frank, he sees that he’s smiling; it's the first smile, he thinks, that has appeared on Frank’s face since they met. It’s feeble and tired but it makes Gerard feel good. He smiles back.
“You’re welcome. I hope I won’t wake you up when I shower.”
“Don’t worry, I’m so tired I think I’m going to collapse the minute I lie down.”
“Oh, okay. Talk to you tomorrow, then – I’ll try to be quiet when I get out.”
With a last smile and a nod, discards his shoes, leaving them randomly on the floor, and hangs his coat on a hook by the door. As he steps into the bathroom, he notices that Frank is now lying down on the sofa and has turned the TV on, with only a low murmur coming from it. He’ll probably be asleep within minutes, Gerard thinks, and hopes that the sound of water won’t disturb him too much
The shower is a blissful experience, and he lets the scalding water pour down his body, massaging his head and his tired neck and back, resting his forehead against the wall and shutting out everything, thoughts, sounds, Frank sleeping in his living room and the curiosity he feels about him. Realizing that he’s almost dozing right there standing in the shower, Gerard forces his body to move, turning the faucet off with a slow, heavy hand. The temperature outside the shower isn’t exactly freezing, but the difference is definitely noticeable, so he quickly grabs a towel for his hair and one to drape around his waist.
The mirror is, as always, fogged over. Gerard looks at the faint outline of his reflection, and even if it’s a bit disquieting, he actually likes it better that way tonight – he doesn’t really want to see how tired he looks. In the mood he’s in he might even have that split second of not recognizing himself in the mirror that he sometimes experiences, and it’s one feeling he is not keen on reliving anytime soon. So he sighs, yawns, and without bothering to comb his hair he quietly opens the door, not wanting to wake Frank up.
He freezes when he steps in the living room again and not from the cold air. In the dark, with the faint light from the TV playing on his face, he thinks he sees Frank staring intently at him. It’s just a flash, and when he squints in the darkness and tries to have a better look, all he sees is Frank sleeping, his face looking tired and not quite relaxed even in his sleep. As much as he wishes to dismiss it as a trick of the light, he feels uncomfortable as he passes the sofa on the way to his room, and has to fight the temptation to turn around and have another look. He’s glad when he finally closes the bedroom door behind him, his bed waiting.
As he slowly drifts off to sleep he recalls that he doesn’t remember turning off the lights in the living room before showering, and supposes that Frank must have done it in the meantime. But it’s just a thought, a tired thought, and a second later he gives in to sleep.
***
While Gerard is stepping into the bathroom, Frank flops on the sofa with a deep sigh. Remembering he’s still holding his cigarette, he looks for something to put it out in. In the end he figures that the glass on the coffee table, half-filled with some kind of liquid but clearly long forgotten, will work perfectly and drops it there. There’s a short hiss when the cigarette meets the liquid, but Frank doesn’t notice it, already lost in his thoughts again.
He reaches mechanically for the remote and turns on the television, but he can’t concentrate: his mind is back in the past again, immersed in the memories that seeing the schoolyard triggered.
Red hair, the last time he had ever allowed himself to hope, a smile that had turned into a grimace, and then screams, lots of people screaming. Alex screaming, the nuns screaming, Father O’Reilly screaming, and most of all, his parents. His parents hadn’t stopped shouting at him for a long while, not since that day. Frank usually tried not to think about it, and in fact he believed that he had managed to bury the memory for good, or at least to metabolize it, but apparently he hasn’t. Still, he doesn’t want to dwell on it too much because he’s already had his share of self-deprecation and anger today, and only wishes he could sleep. Which is easier said than done.
He kicks off his shoes, lies down on his side and flips through the channels but it’s too late for anything decent to be on, so he gives up after a while, stopping on a news channel, and tries to sleep. It doesn’t work. He hears Gerard opening the shower and closes his eyes, trying to calm down and possibly get some sleep, but as soon as he shuts them, he sees that hair again and that smile, and relives the humiliating memory over and over. Rolling over nervously, he tosses and turns on the sofa, unable to calm down and suddenly, just as Father O’Reilly is shouting “Don’t you ever dare show your face here again, boy!” for maybe the hundredth time in his mind, the light, which he hasn’t even thought about turning off really, goes off. His first thought is that well, damn, the place obviously isn’t as quiet as he thought it was, and the second is that he’ll have to buy Gerard a new light bulb tomorrow.
Gerard. In all the confusion of the last hours, Frank hasn’t even given a concrete thought to the fact that he’s sleeping over at a complete stranger’s place, with no real plans as to what to do next. The fact that Gerard’s a priest should reassure him, but Frank’s past experiences are enough not to make him love the category too much. Still, as he did in the diner, he trusts Gerard, following his gut instinct without thinking. He still doesn’t know much about him, but from what he’s seen the guy must be pretty fucked up for a priest, walking around alone at night, chain-smoking and taking random strangers home.
Okay, that sounded dirty, he thinks, and he is surprised to notice that he has actually managed to distract himself and relax for a little while, thinking about Gerard.
Frank’s still thinking about him when he hears the bathroom door open. Caught by surprise, he doesn’t close his eyes fast enough – it’s not that he wants to avoid Gerard, but he’s tired and doesn’t really want to talk – so he gets a glimpse of wet, dishevelled hair, and of a pale chest with a towel slung low on the hips. He doesn’t want to be caught staring, and even if he’s not sure he thinks that Gerard has noticed him, so he quickly closes his eyes. He tries to look relaxed as he listens to Gerard move through the room, but the image has caught him off-guard and stays with him. It’s as if he has seen Gerard as he is for the first time, the person, separated from his priest clothes.
It’s not a bad image, Frank ponders, almost surprised, and knows he wouldn’t hear the end of it if Ray were to know he thought that. It’s almost enough to make him smile, and thinking of Ray, reminding himself to call him first thing tomorrow, he finally falls asleep.
Six
Rating: PG13 for this part
Pairing: Frank/Gerard, Frank/Ray
Author's notes: once upon a time, I saw the first priest!Gerard pictures, and helped by conversations about Stigmata-esque AUs with
restriction, I started with an idea and ended up writing something completely different. This means you will find no demonic possession here, only a psychic, fucked-up Frank and a tired, disillusioned priest!Gerard. Sorry for the long wait, in case anyone was waiting for this. RL was a bitch for a while.Thanks to
restriction for the wonderful beta job on this part.No altar boys were (or will ever be) harmed in the writing of this story.
Disclaimer: this is an AU; you can't get much faker than that, right?
Links to previous parts are under the cut.
- Part one
- Part two
- Part three
- Part four
Opening the door, Gerard steps into the room before Frank, blindly reaching for the light switch.
“The place is a mess, I’m afraid,” he says with some embarrassment in his voice, even if he wonders why he bothers, since he’s pretty sure that Frank wouldn’t mind the mess in the state he’s in. He is still to say anything more than “yes” or “thank you”, and he’s still clinging to the butt of his cigarette even after what Gerard has said.
“You shouldn’t be smoking here, you know, but,” and Gerard shrugs, giving up with a vaguely apologetic gesture, one thing about himself he really hates, because it always makes him feel silly. “It’s not like a lot of people come here, anyway. There should be a lady cleaning every day, but the old one died and they still haven’t found anyone old and ugly enough to replace her, I guess.”
He smiles at this, but Frank doesn’t seem to be amused and frowns instead.
“Old miss Jane died?”
“Wh-” – the name doesn’t tell him anything, but then he’s hit by a sudden inspiration – “Oh, the old woman? Did you know her?”
“I used to, a long time ago.”
Gerard shoots him another puzzled look, probably the hundredth one tonight, genuinely perplexed by Frank’s tendency to throw around disconcerting remarks without blinking or even a hint of an expression in his voice. He’s getting more curious to unravel him by the minute, but even that thought is hidden beneath the multiple layers of Gerard’s own exhaustion, so he just shows Frank the sofa where he’s going to sleep and tells him he’s welcome to help himself to anything in the kitchen.
“I’m just going to have a quick shower and crash out, I have to be up really early tomorrow,” Gerard says while glancing at the clock. Seeing that it’s almost 3am he knows he will be a wreck tomorrow, so he turns to head for his room. He wishes he could just fall on the bed and get some sleep, but he knows he wouldn’t have the energy to shower in the morning.
“Thank you.”
Frank’s voice stops him as he’s opening the door. When Gerard turns to look at Frank, he sees that he’s smiling; it's the first smile, he thinks, that has appeared on Frank’s face since they met. It’s feeble and tired but it makes Gerard feel good. He smiles back.
“You’re welcome. I hope I won’t wake you up when I shower.”
“Don’t worry, I’m so tired I think I’m going to collapse the minute I lie down.”
“Oh, okay. Talk to you tomorrow, then – I’ll try to be quiet when I get out.”
With a last smile and a nod, discards his shoes, leaving them randomly on the floor, and hangs his coat on a hook by the door. As he steps into the bathroom, he notices that Frank is now lying down on the sofa and has turned the TV on, with only a low murmur coming from it. He’ll probably be asleep within minutes, Gerard thinks, and hopes that the sound of water won’t disturb him too much
The shower is a blissful experience, and he lets the scalding water pour down his body, massaging his head and his tired neck and back, resting his forehead against the wall and shutting out everything, thoughts, sounds, Frank sleeping in his living room and the curiosity he feels about him. Realizing that he’s almost dozing right there standing in the shower, Gerard forces his body to move, turning the faucet off with a slow, heavy hand. The temperature outside the shower isn’t exactly freezing, but the difference is definitely noticeable, so he quickly grabs a towel for his hair and one to drape around his waist.
The mirror is, as always, fogged over. Gerard looks at the faint outline of his reflection, and even if it’s a bit disquieting, he actually likes it better that way tonight – he doesn’t really want to see how tired he looks. In the mood he’s in he might even have that split second of not recognizing himself in the mirror that he sometimes experiences, and it’s one feeling he is not keen on reliving anytime soon. So he sighs, yawns, and without bothering to comb his hair he quietly opens the door, not wanting to wake Frank up.
He freezes when he steps in the living room again and not from the cold air. In the dark, with the faint light from the TV playing on his face, he thinks he sees Frank staring intently at him. It’s just a flash, and when he squints in the darkness and tries to have a better look, all he sees is Frank sleeping, his face looking tired and not quite relaxed even in his sleep. As much as he wishes to dismiss it as a trick of the light, he feels uncomfortable as he passes the sofa on the way to his room, and has to fight the temptation to turn around and have another look. He’s glad when he finally closes the bedroom door behind him, his bed waiting.
As he slowly drifts off to sleep he recalls that he doesn’t remember turning off the lights in the living room before showering, and supposes that Frank must have done it in the meantime. But it’s just a thought, a tired thought, and a second later he gives in to sleep.
***
While Gerard is stepping into the bathroom, Frank flops on the sofa with a deep sigh. Remembering he’s still holding his cigarette, he looks for something to put it out in. In the end he figures that the glass on the coffee table, half-filled with some kind of liquid but clearly long forgotten, will work perfectly and drops it there. There’s a short hiss when the cigarette meets the liquid, but Frank doesn’t notice it, already lost in his thoughts again.
He reaches mechanically for the remote and turns on the television, but he can’t concentrate: his mind is back in the past again, immersed in the memories that seeing the schoolyard triggered.
Red hair, the last time he had ever allowed himself to hope, a smile that had turned into a grimace, and then screams, lots of people screaming. Alex screaming, the nuns screaming, Father O’Reilly screaming, and most of all, his parents. His parents hadn’t stopped shouting at him for a long while, not since that day. Frank usually tried not to think about it, and in fact he believed that he had managed to bury the memory for good, or at least to metabolize it, but apparently he hasn’t. Still, he doesn’t want to dwell on it too much because he’s already had his share of self-deprecation and anger today, and only wishes he could sleep. Which is easier said than done.
He kicks off his shoes, lies down on his side and flips through the channels but it’s too late for anything decent to be on, so he gives up after a while, stopping on a news channel, and tries to sleep. It doesn’t work. He hears Gerard opening the shower and closes his eyes, trying to calm down and possibly get some sleep, but as soon as he shuts them, he sees that hair again and that smile, and relives the humiliating memory over and over. Rolling over nervously, he tosses and turns on the sofa, unable to calm down and suddenly, just as Father O’Reilly is shouting “Don’t you ever dare show your face here again, boy!” for maybe the hundredth time in his mind, the light, which he hasn’t even thought about turning off really, goes off. His first thought is that well, damn, the place obviously isn’t as quiet as he thought it was, and the second is that he’ll have to buy Gerard a new light bulb tomorrow.
Gerard. In all the confusion of the last hours, Frank hasn’t even given a concrete thought to the fact that he’s sleeping over at a complete stranger’s place, with no real plans as to what to do next. The fact that Gerard’s a priest should reassure him, but Frank’s past experiences are enough not to make him love the category too much. Still, as he did in the diner, he trusts Gerard, following his gut instinct without thinking. He still doesn’t know much about him, but from what he’s seen the guy must be pretty fucked up for a priest, walking around alone at night, chain-smoking and taking random strangers home.
Okay, that sounded dirty, he thinks, and he is surprised to notice that he has actually managed to distract himself and relax for a little while, thinking about Gerard.
Frank’s still thinking about him when he hears the bathroom door open. Caught by surprise, he doesn’t close his eyes fast enough – it’s not that he wants to avoid Gerard, but he’s tired and doesn’t really want to talk – so he gets a glimpse of wet, dishevelled hair, and of a pale chest with a towel slung low on the hips. He doesn’t want to be caught staring, and even if he’s not sure he thinks that Gerard has noticed him, so he quickly closes his eyes. He tries to look relaxed as he listens to Gerard move through the room, but the image has caught him off-guard and stays with him. It’s as if he has seen Gerard as he is for the first time, the person, separated from his priest clothes.
It’s not a bad image, Frank ponders, almost surprised, and knows he wouldn’t hear the end of it if Ray were to know he thought that. It’s almost enough to make him smile, and thinking of Ray, reminding himself to call him first thing tomorrow, he finally falls asleep.
Six
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-21 03:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-21 08:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-21 03:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-21 07:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-21 08:03 pm (UTC)*gemelle di icona*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-21 09:43 pm (UTC)E che ringraziamenti e ringraziamenti! Dovrei ringraziarti io in qualsiasi cosa scriva, punto.
*continua col gemellaggio*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-21 08:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-21 04:40 pm (UTC)i wish mine were as good as this
i just read it frm chapt 1 to this chapter cant wait to read the restr!
xxxxxxxxx
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-21 08:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-23 03:59 pm (UTC)xxxx
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-26 12:15 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-21 10:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-22 05:16 am (UTC)More soon???
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-26 12:16 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-22 10:32 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-26 12:16 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-22 02:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-26 12:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-22 02:47 pm (UTC)UPDATE :D
oh and has anyone got a link to the infamous priest!gee pic? coz i cant find it ANYWHERE!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-22 04:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-26 12:18 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-22 10:52 pm (UTC)moree soon i hope?
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-26 12:18 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-25 06:44 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-26 12:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-25 09:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-26 12:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-25 07:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-26 12:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-08-18 07:51 am (UTC)